Down to nothing

This week is going to suck

Mon, 05 Dec 2005 06:04:58 GMT

Well, here I am... over 2 months since my last post and all I'm thinking about is the week ahead of me.

Thursday... wow Thursday is going to be the day from hell.... first off its my mother's 55th birthday and for the first time in 21 years, I won't be there to celebrate with her... yet, my entire family will be there to make her happy... secondly, thursday is also my final day as a teacher at Webster....

And here come the water works again...
For the last 8 weeks of my life I have allowed 29 fouth graders to steal my heart. I was so scared the first day I walked into that school... what the hell was I doing? Was I really ready for this? I checked into the office and was escorted up to my room. Understand folks, I'm a 4th grade teacher in a public school in down town St. Paul. In one sense of the word, I'm completely shocked they didn't go as far as strip searching me... instead through a process of metal detectors, drug screenings, searches... I was in.
For 8 weeks I was Ms. Gross, I was in charge, and I was loved. Each student became closer to me as the weeks grew on. I was in charge of the classroom for 2 days...all by myself... can we all say... OH SHIT. No, really, I did good! I LOVED it too... :)

But this thursday I must say good-bye. Not knowing what will happen to my students tomorrow, and I know that I can't protect them anymore. but this "drill" sargent must throw in her towel... I made them line up A B C order, toes forward, heads looking to the back of the person ahead of you, mouths shut... because Ms. Gross DID NOT hear voices in the halls... (numerous times I would stop as we were walking and say to the students... "Ohhh I know that I do not hear voices") my teacher laughed at me when I attempted to scold a child but ended up crying myself...

My time there has been an expereince... a crazy one... one that I never wnat to loose. I got a job offer.. 4th grade 1.0 teacher, full health bennefits, 31k a year, no housing assitance... what do I do now!? Where am I going... how will I move on?

My heart aches for the fact of saying goodbye...

Life goes on? yes, but not without hurting....

Good Lord

Mon, 12 Sep 2005 22:24:25 GMT

Okay, so yea... its been a LONG time since I actually wrote anything in here...
And believe me, it might be short... I have to urinate and I'm in class!!!

Well Gilbert decided to cheat... I kicked him out of the house... and told him to go to hell!
I'm on the outlook of life that I don't know where I'm going or who's going to be with me... and I'm happy!
I'll be 21 on Wednesday... it is seriuosly unreal that I will be able to go to the bars... or legally drink!
I miss Mindy like non tomorrow. I don't know why I miss her so much... I just do! I know there are about 10 of you who read this... but I know Mindy's the only one who comments on here... well I miss you damnit! I want to go to Seattle again... It was a georgous but dirty city... I guess I would like to just go anywhere right now... I'm sick of Minnesota... I want to come home and see the leaves turning colors, it be a NICE 50 degrees... (none of this 90+ shit on SEPTEMBER 11th!!!!!!) And about 35 at night, where I can curl up in sweats and read on my patio...
Damnit, I just hate being in school... being here... not having anything to do BESIDES homework... I had a creepy man who lives next foor to me (about 30 from Virginia) hit on me the other day...
Well I don't know what else to write...
Classes, well they are classes except I at times feel like I am about 12 yrs old in college... the way professors make you feel when you're in the practicum block. I'll be at Webster Magnet in St. Paul starting Oct. 28th...
Then on January 18th, I'll start student teaching... I'm at Trinity Lone Oak *http://www.trinityloneoak.org/* I'm in Pre-School for 6 weeks and then 2nd grade for 9 weeks! EEEK!!! No one will ever understand how much damn work this is!

Well that's it for me! I'm outta here

The Ring!

Fri, 17 Jun 2005 05:13:20 GMT

Okay, so it's been a while since I actually updated on this thing... I'm not good at it I know... anyway, the only reason why I'm updating tonight is to just shout from the top of the mountains... I'M ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tonight he popped the question...
Here's how it all plays out
I made him a steak dinner (with EVERYTHING including a 29.00 cheesecake!)
We then decided to take a walk and visit our friend Julie who ended up having a friend over and they were at the pool but she had us come over there... We hung out over there laying on a chair together... went back to Julie's...
We hung out there for awhile until we came home and laid on the couch... (me laying on him)
He came upstairs and took a shower, I plugged a lamp in... I laid on the bed to play Digby's Doughnuts as I do every night while he's getting ready to go to bed.. and he came to the side of the bed and asked... "Will you marry me..." at first I laughed... didn't think he was serious... but when he brought out the ring MY ring I started to cry... he just held me and played with my hair... I cried some more.. kissed him... then laid next to him...
I love him to DEATH and back!!!!! I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with this man!

Hmmm

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 04:35:19 GMT

Okay, in all honesty I have NO idea what I am going to write about.

There are only 42 days until I move into my NEW HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so yea I'll be living in Woodbury... you might as well conclude that yes I'm a damn suburbanite!
So I'm going back to writing my papers... I hate the fact that finals are in 3 weeks! ARG!

The boy

Wed, 16 Feb 2005 14:27:28 GMT

Okay, so lately I haven't really been all up and up on this updating thing... but here goes what's been going on in Annie's life lately... (Mindy, it's about a boy so read at your own discression... I WARNED YOU!)
On February 2nd, I went on my first date with a boy named Gilbert... the MOST amazing date at that... we didn't do anything special except go walk around Rosedale (which is a pile of crap if you ask me) but then we went to Perkins, where the food quite casually gave me FOOD POISIONING... I was sick for the entire weekend... it SUCKED.
The next Monday (which is the 7th) after class I came over to his place because I hate it on campus... more than anyone of you will ever know! We started to officially date that night, and I spent the night in his really big COMFORTABLE leather chair... I wasn't all that comfortable sleeping in bed with him yet.
Tuesday, I ended up going home becuase I have a double ear infection. Yea, it was absolutly wonderful.
Wednesday, I came over to his place and made dinner, cleaned the kitchen you know the things annie does on a regular basis. I spent the night, tonight was the first night in bed with him... CRAZY... I've never slept in a bed with a boy and that was the strangest thing I had EVER done. Lets just say I didn't really sleep well.
Thursday morning the routine continued. I wake up, wake up him... I get out of bed... go into the kitchen feed the cats.... YES he has cats... NOT like my stella though...:( I miss her so bad! They get fed in the morning (JUST like I did with Stella). Then I start to pack his lunch....and do the dishes! It is so funny how I already feel like a wife, becuase at the same time this is all happening, I'm getting ready for my day, and making breakfast...
Friday after classes I stayed with him for the night after I cleaned my dorm and packed for the weekend... I don't think we really did anything on Friday, I can't remember..
Saturday, oh yes my friends we ended up going to st. cloud TOGETHER. He met my parents, my parents love him... BUT here's the kicker... he met Paula, then JoAnn... and he really wanted to meet Missy, so we picked her up from work. He loves the family, and what's funny is the family loves him... besides my mother calling him CLIFFORD all the time... haha yea. We went over and saw Danny at Villa. That was fun because he wasn't busy (for once) and he actually got to talk to talk to us!
Sunday we got up and went to church together... here he was able to meet Matt, Chris, Kaity, and Karl... it was cute Kaity was SO shy around him while on the other hand Chris and Matt TALKED the poor man's ears off... :) We left St. Cloud and came back down here... We went to Target and while there he purchased a whole bunch of things that I would need for being at his apt. We also purchaed food for the weeks dinners. It was insaine!
There is just something about Gil that makes me just want to be with him all the time. Right now he's at work and I'm at the apartment because I don't have classes today, so he told me to just sleep in! I still got up and made lunch, cleaned the kitchen, fed the cats and sent him off... My mom and I were discussing the situation and it was so strange because my mom is not like this but she said something about adding another chair around the table in a year or so...
This is going to sound REALLY crazy but I whole heartedly can see myself with him when I'm 70... I can see us having a marriage and children... We've talked about if we do get engaged the situation... He gets really nervous about marriage and so he tends to back out of the situation... SO I told him as soon as we get engaged I'm calling Mindy, telling her to get her butt to the airport cuase she's going to meet him and I in Vegas... (plus his best man!) but we're goign to get married there then come home and have our big wedding... haha Yea... I really like this one! Anyway, I shoudl really get going... I need a little more sleep and then a little cleaning before I work at Trinity First at noon! I hope you all have a great time and sorry this is so 'sappy' I love you Mindy!

From Seattle

Tue, 08 Feb 2005 20:21:07 GMT

I just was reading files on my computer and found this... I couldn't post it a couple weeks ago.. it made me cry

Okay, so here I am, writing to you while I am on the plane to Vegas, because I can! As I was resizing all of the rest of the pictures I was thinking about the last 11 days, and I have to say that I wouldn’t trade them for the WORLD! Then as I was thinking about our friendship I realized that it has been 13…. 13 years since I met you and instantly became a friend with you! So I’m sitting here thinking about not only the last 11 days but the last 13 years of our friendship… and I have to say that you are the greatest person anyone could ask to be friends with. (okay, yes I am TRYING to refrain from crying… so sue me! I’ve had 4ish hours of sleep in the last 2 days and I’m a LITTLE emotional!) I was looking at a picture that was taken of you and I yesterday (Monday) in the wee hours of the morning when we were cooking for the ‘crew’ and I just can’t imagine my life without you!

I will never be able to forget the memories from Seattle… it’s kind of imbedded in my head now! You know, as the week went past the memories only began to stick to me even more and more…. I guess because they are fresh in my mind… but I would say the best parts of Seattle was while we were at the grocery store and as I’m walking into the building not paying attention to you (yea and I was a little tired), I hear you scream that there is a problem… you locked your keys in the car! Well, after that was all taken care of, and we’re leaving some hobo hits on you, then grandma/grandpa (I still would like to beg that it was MALE!) walking across the road… then passing out over at Tyler’s… then Diffy coming in and you talking to him. The whole day was amazing!

I have to say that I can see why you love it there. The people are the best people in the world! You are so lucky to be there, and be with everyone from Steph and Will, to Tyler and Adam, and Katt, and Alvin and Louis… and none other than MANDI! The each hold a huge place in my heart! I’ll never forget any of them… and I know I said to you in the car that I heard what Mandi said, and in all reality I heard about 1/3 of what she said, because I was crying…. But, I should get going. Thank you again Mindy for the greatest time of my life!

...the phone call

Tue, 01 Feb 2005 16:54:49 GMT

Okay, at 9:45am on Tuesday February 1st, I get this random phone call... it's from an unkown number so I thought it was Krippner. I answered it.... and then comes a woman's voice...

"Annie? Annie Gross"?
"uuuhhhh yes?"
"CONGRATULATIONS! Your name was drawn from the Twin Cities Bridal Association's Bridal Fair to recieve a 3 day 2 night Honeymoon/Vacation to a destination of YOUR choice..."
"you've got to be kidding"
"Nope, I'm not kidding, I'm very serious!"
"Uhhh so how much do I have to pay out for this?"
"You don't! That's the great thing it is an all expence paid honeymoon/vacation! PLUS You have a $500 shopping spree online!"

"Okay, I need to get going, can I call you back?"
"YES please do... (insert name).... you have to claim your prize within the next 24 hours {Insert number}"
"thank you!"
"No problem, CONGATULATIONS again!"
*hang up*

Then you would have heard me screaming as to... WHAT THE HECK!

Yea, that was my morning!

'Love Test'

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 16:32:24 GMT

<img src="http://images.quizilla.com/C/coreina/1080319872_ilderaaaa7.jpg" border="0" alt="7"> LOVING ONE. You need safety in your relationship. You want to be sure in his/her arms, knowing that he will protect you and you can be totally devoted to your other. At this point you are very vulnerable. You open yourself and dont even think that he/she could cheat you. You totally trust your partner in every single way. SO if you find out that she/he lied to you or played a game this trust is broken. You may try to forgive your other but this will be very difficult.He/She has to be friendly and trustworthy.
 ~THE big LOVE TEST!! What do you need? With PICS! For girls and boys!~</a> brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a>

Since I've been Home

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 19:04:24 GMT

Okay, so I arrived back in Minnesota on the 18th, and well it was less than perfect for me. It was really cold, and it was SNOWING. The guy on the plane was all shocked that there would be snow AROUND the airport... I laughed! But I had to drive my father's Lincoln TownCar from the cities to St. Cloud, listening to him bitch and complain about how slow traffic was moving...

But after we got home it was fine, but I have been so TIRED since I got back... I have no idea why. It sucks though becuase I just want to sleep. Oh well... I went back to school! I don't think this semester should be bad... but I have only gone through 2 days! :) Then I came home on Friday.... and well... This is what happened all over the state!

We recieved a FOOT of snow in ONE day... and now the winds are picking up... it is SO wonderful... (NOT!) but... that's about it! Love ya'll

All the pictures!

Wed, 19 Jan 2005 22:09:18 GMT

So here are a BUTTLOAD of pictures taken while I was in Seattle. I'm now home and getting ready to begin my Spring semester of college tomorrow... so it's going to be fast... and lovely! If you want to see more pictures believe me I have some... aprox. 400 pictures are on my computer! It was the BEST TIME OF MY LIFE in Seattle. I love ya'll
Stella trying to come home with me!

Stella's just chillin' :)

The TARGET CART!!!!!!!!! (Yes it is on an escolator for carts!) I KNOW it's AWESOME

Mindy and I.... we were painting!

Greatest time of my life! (EVER!)

Mon, 17 Jan 2005 13:39:54 GMT

Oh Good Lord! I have been having the time of my life here in Seattle. The people here are AMAZING... and I think the best part is that Mindy and I have got to spend ONE on ONE time together. The hardest point is going to be saying good-bye to her for the next 5-6 months. I was talking to Mandi tonight and I literly started CRYING because the thought just killed me. Its 5:05am Seattle time, and I'm sitting behind Mindy, tearing up writing this because I do love her! She's speaking to "Korea" (I have given up on the name Scott... or John/Jon at that fact... so now you'll hear me call them by where they live!)
We have taken over 300 (YES 300) pictures since I arrived here 9 days ago. And that is just the start! I will post a few here and there... but let me know if you want to see anymore, I'll post them until I go blue... because this has been the GREATEST time of my life!

I will post pictures later!

Seattle....

Sun, 09 Jan 2005 09:56:37 GMT

I have SOOOO many stories to tell you and it's only the 2nd day here! Here are some pictures from the beloved Seattle. I'll see ya'll in 9 days but until then... I'll attempt to update on a daily basis with pictures becuase Mindy tends to take SHIT LOADS of pictures on my camera... if I leave with UNDER 1000 pictures it will be amazing!

On the plane!

The Market

Mindy and I day 2

Us day 1... (I'm REALLY tired!)

They all call her the devil kitty!

Mandy (a girl who lives downstairs)

Alvin.. DAMN he's hot!

Dan talking about the Chinese girls who wanted "Penis" aka Potatoe

Drunk Alvin talking to the pole

WHATEVS

Dan (lives nextdoor to DiffY)

BEFORE

AFTER (Okay, I'm a clean freak! I cleaned all day today with Mindy and redid the apartment.... well it's really cute now and pictures just don't do justice!)

OKay... really..

Thu, 06 Jan 2005 06:29:55 GMT

OH GOOD LORD! Okay, Its 12:21am Minnesota time.... and I am having a slight little panic attack. I think it is becuase a. I've NEVER flown alone before... I love to fly, and I'm paranoid... I know! b. I don't know what the hell mindy and I are going to do for 11 days together. Hell, normally we can get along for about 2 FULL days together.... BUT We're going to make it happen, or I'm locking myself into the bathroom. c. I'm HIGHLY alergic to cats... and well STELLA is her cat... I might end up killing her... no no no... I'll just drug myself instead. D. When I arrive back to the state of MN I will have ONE day to put my life together and get my ass into the mode of SCHOOL.

I'm on 'baby' duty tonight (Which basically means I have to sleep upstairs so when my nephew wakes up I get up make a bottle feed him, cuddle him, and put him back to sleep until mom wakes up). But I want to pack too. (Yes the over achiver is NOT packed yet!).

So I'm off to either try to sleep, or pack.

All in all I just keep thinking about how in 28 hours I will be on a plane for this...

It is absolutly GEORGOUS and I am VERY excited.
Ps. Mindy did you need me to bring paint brushes or anything?

Love ya'll

3 days!

Tue, 04 Jan 2005 05:13:07 GMT

In 3 days, I will be here...

I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So its another ending to another year

Sun, 02 Jan 2005 07:50:04 GMT

To reminice about 2004, I will just casually go through it month by month.

January:
Mindy and I refused to speak to each other...
Jon and I were on our 3rd month of dating, and I spent New Years and probably 3/4 of the rest of the month at his house in Courtland with his 7 yes 7 brothers and sisters!
Found out I would be an AUNT again!

February:
Nothing really happened, Mindy and I still NOT talking. Jon and I dating still.
I'm in my Spring Semester of my sophomore year of college

March:
Went to St. Louis with a group of friends for Spring Break.
Mindy and I STILL not speaking! (I missed her birthday because of it!)

April:
Jon and I are still dating...

May:
Mindy and I aren't talking...
Missy goes to jail
I finish up my 1st year of college!

June:
I start summer school (so I can graduate early)
Mindy and I STILL aren't talking!
I had to go to Jon's brother's wedding...

July:
Flew to Oregon with Jon for his best friends wedding.
MINDY AND I ARE TALKING AGAIN!! (thanks to lame Adam!)
I broke up with Jon outside of WalMart in Oregon in the rental car!

August:
Move home for 3 weeks then move back to college.
Start my 2nd year of college but as a Junior - I'm living ALONE...

September:
Mallory moves into my room becuase she FREAKED out about her roommate.
We end up moving DOWN the hall...
I celebrate 20 years of life.
Michael David Stewart Dehn is BORN!

October:
I have this incredible urge to kill my present roommate.
MEA break Drew spends it here at home with me. I want to strangle him.
... I don't know what else happened

November:
I have a mental break down in the middle of the night and end up leaving campus for a week!
Laura has attempted to hook me up with John Tasto. Didn't work!

December:
I take my finals and get the hell out of CSP.
Laura attempts to hook me up with John Tuman, it WORKS!
Christmas was horrible thanks to my mother.
Missy only has 2.5 months left!
New Years was spent at home with Kendra, Michael and my mom.

We'll see what this year has to bring for all of us! I hope and pray that 2005 is a HELL of a lot better than 2004 was.

All in all, there are only technically 5 days until I see Mindy in Seattle!!!!!!!

I hate today

Fri, 24 Dec 2004 22:51:20 GMT

Today, yes might be Christmas Eve, but I hate it. I hate my family, I can't stand the fighting the rudeness... I'm just really andry at them right now.

To explain this situation, this morning my mother recieved her gift from my dad, a $500 lazy boy chair... its REALLY ncie. She doesn't like it becuase its thewrong color. I get mad at her becuase we really don't have the money to be spending on this damn chair, and call her a ungrateful person. Then I took a nap, when I woke up it was as if nothing happened supposedly. She's telling me to wrap all these presents and I did... whatever. I come upstairs and she just reems me a new asshole about how I slept. Here starts the bad day. Then come dinner the game (Vikes and Packers) are on... and I asked if we could turn it down, and she FREAKED out on me along with my 2 sisters about how my father wanted to hear it. So I said, COULD WE AT LEAST FUCKING PRAY WITHOUT THE GOD DAMN GAME ON! It just upset me more and more. Then My grandmother who has had breast cancer surgry is sitting next to me and I'm holding the infant nephew. Well we're passing things and I want to make sure that she doesn't hurt herself. So I asked my brother in law to stand up and grab a HEAVY and HOT thing of green bean casserole. Grandma just starts screaming at me how she's not paralyzied and she isn't stupid.... I seriously started to break down right there and cry, so I just got up from the table and left. I haven't been back yet. She asked if I ate and I lied and told her I had, when I didn't. Mys siter JoAnn was a complete bitch to her children, and Michelle (the sister whose in jail)is here for Christmas but treats her children as if they do NOTHING wrong.

I have had it. I was trying to unload the dishwasher, and paula was cleaning things off and she FREAKED out on me about hwo if she wanted to be crowed she would have been in the den yadda yadda yadda. So I just left, freaked out slammed the door and left. Now i'm in my room with the door locked, and watching the game. If anyone asks me to come out I'm going to tell them to fuck themselves. I'm so sick of the rudeness, the inconsiderate asses in my family. I just sit here and cry like a freaking baby. I HATE this.

I HATE TODAY!

Home

Fri, 24 Dec 2004 08:38:35 GMT

Okay - its 2:36am on Friday December 24th and all I have to say is...

SHE IS HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My bestest friend is HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's right friends, Mindy is now in St. Cloud and I absolutly LOVE it!!!!!!!

That's all I have!

35 hours and 40 minutes! (AND COUNTING!)

Wed, 22 Dec 2004 18:31:56 GMT

I can't believe my bestest friend ever is coming home in 35 hours and 39 minutes! She and I had a good talk last night and I can not wait to see her! Let me explain my friendship with Mindy here. Alright back in 1st grade in January, she came into my classroom for the first time. She used to live in South St. Paul. We instantly became friends and stayed in touch, then in 5,6,7,8th grades we became even closer... with our occassional fights here and there:) Besides that we became good friends, thought we are COMPLETE opposites. I'm prep, she's NOT. She listens to Mailyn Manson I listen to Christan Music.... yea you can see a pattern here. She's amazing though, even when she ATTEMPTS to push me out of her life... it doesn't work. So, yea we only have hours left until she comes home, then only 16 days until I get on a plane and head out to Seattle!

This is our classic picture. Normally we cannot even take a regular, mouth closed, tounge in smile picture. I miss her SO much!

3 days - and counting

Tue, 21 Dec 2004 01:08:36 GMT

There are only three days until my bestest friend comes home. It will be weird to have her here, but very exciting! I have a few things planned for when she arrives here, because I have the opportunity to pick her up from the airport.

Besides that, John left for Japan today. He'll be gone until the 5th of January. Its going to be very strange not to have him here to talk to. Last night we had an argument and that's where we left it. I feel bad about it, but I can't do a damn thing about it. I miss him already. We went to the movie Closer on Friday together along with Gorder and Laura. That is the MOST fucked up movie I have EVER seen. The last one like this that I remember is the one where I fell asleep in the theater it was with Mindy. But this one takes the cake on FUCKED up movies of the year. It was nice though, because we were both exhausted so kept poking or talking to each other to keep us up. Afterwards we all went to McMillan's (where I used to work) to grab some dinner.... while there, I also learned that while I was working there.... HE was too. I as a hostest he as a cook. This whole situation keeps getting stranger and stranger. Not to say that I went to school with his sister and didn't like her at ALL. But, shit happens.

Then last night I found out he was good friends with Kati's (a lifelong friend) sister all throughout high school and he actually knows the Nistlers quite well.

Laura and I have had a lot of good times lately. Last week one night we hung out in her dorm until 2 am. We both had read the book "Vagina Monologues" and we were discussing it. I also bought her a digital camera for Christmas, so we exchanged presents. We talked about her and Gorder and how they are so close and I just wish he would understand this and just propose to her. But oh well, it won't happen for awhile. :) Besides that nothing really has been happening.
I did though get my grade for one of my classes and I am PISSED. She gave me a C+, when I was ONE point away from a B-. For those of you who don't know the whole GPA shit. That's a whole .5 difference! FUCK her. Oh well, I have her again this damn spring. We'll see how that goes!

Before I head out, I know a few of you read this, but I'm sure only one of you will understand this... but Paula and I... well we're getting along... REALLY well. I thought I would kill her by the time ONE week came along, but no actually not. We're splitting Christmas gifts for everyone etc. It's just WEIRD!
Its time for me to head out.

Current temp: (with windchill) -25! and NO SNOW!
My Countdowns:
3 days until mindy comes home
18 days until I fly to Seattle...
30 days until Spring Semester comes along!

I hate people so bad

Thu, 09 Dec 2004 17:31:52 GMT

There is this huge feeling inside of me where I just want to kill specificially two people. I have become the laughing stock of these two people... and it has caused my anger to become overwhelming.... I'm sitting in class and the particular person is sitting next to me... want to know how hard it is not to just strangle him and what him die? REALLY fucking hard.
I can't wait to get the hell out of this fucking place that I hate. I love the classes here, but now am beginning to hate the people.
Kaylani and I had a really funny talk last night. Yea that's all I have to say on that subject.
I don't know how much longer I can force myself to be happy.

I miss my family, I miss my friends (my TRUE friends), and I miss my home.

Brokedown Palace

Thu, 09 Dec 2004 02:32:26 GMT

So I just watched the movie Brokedown Palace. Mindy had given me this movie oh about two years ago, and when I first watched it she told me I would cry everytime I do watch it. I thought she was crazy, and really didn't believe her, then I did get up the guts to watch it and BAWLED. This movie is very much like Mindy and I. She would be the character who played Clare Danes..

Anyway, So I threw it in to the DVD player tonight and Mallory thought I was crazy when I put it in... becuase I forewarned her about me crying. She didn't really like the movie and left 1/2 way through it. Towards the end I just kept thinking about that conversation that Mindy and I had over 2 years ago and just started to cry. I don't know if she'll remember the conversation but I sure as hell do.

One night she had watched this particular movie when I called her right afterwards and all she said to me was "When we both graduate from college, lets go to Thiland..." my reaction was (what the FUCK)... "uhh okay." and then she tried to explain this movie to me and I told her I wouldn't ever watch it because it wouldn't be something that I would like. She told me I HAD to watch it... and she found it in the $5.50 DVD bin at WalMart andn later gave it to me. I refused to watch it for over a month and when I did, I bawled towards the end. The reason why I cried is becuase this movie sums her and I up. We are COMPLETE opposites... let me tell you people I don't know how much further we could get... but I would be the girl who was off to college to hurry up and make something out of my life while she is the person who is trying to find herself.... (VERY MUCH US!) Anyway, I called her CRYING and she laughed at me. Then when we watched it together we PROMISED each other that we were going to go to Thiland when we graduated from college....

Watching it tonight has just reminded me how much I love this girl and how much I miss her. She's always been there for me... even when we're fighting! 8 months long we went without each other but then realized that nothing was going to break us apart... NOT even 1600 miles away or boys...

I called her after I finished watching it and I was crying and trying to hold it back, but I just told her that I loved her and that I missed her and cannot wait to see her.

That's all I have... I miss you Mindy more than anything in the world. I cannot wait to see you, to give you a hug, to laugh with you, and drive with you... 15 days girly!

My countdowns:
2 days of classes
15 days until MINDY COMES HOME!!
28 days until I go to Seattle!

Homework

Mon, 06 Dec 2004 19:50:11 GMT

I seriously hate homework. I'm currently working on a Unit PLan for this damn Pre-Primary class. Its close to 33 pages long... basically it is 50+ lesson plans on an entire unit for 2 weeks. Then after I am done with this I have to go and make 34 copies of it for my entire class. That's all I basically have to do this week though cause I finished everything else. (THANK GOD!)Oh yeah and make a snack and prepare a song for tomorrows class. It'll be fine. I'm outta here.

Welcome

Mon, 06 Dec 2004 16:53:10 GMT

Well, this is all new to me, but you know everyone gets used to it sometime or another.
I don't know what to write as of yet. I know the people who actually read this will already know something about me... so I'll just explain to you my weekend.
Friday started out in a very hectic standard way. I am involved in a handbells choir here on campus and we had to play in chapel. I went to class, my doctrine class. It is horrible at times, I just normally end up sitting on the internet talking to people or playing games. Yay for a laptop wireless campus! So after that I came back to my room slept for a little bit then had to go to dress rehersal... this is where all the fun began. I had a migraine so my director was getting PISSED off at me because I couldn't see. Meh. So Friday night I came back to my dorm and did homework and talked to a boy until about 4am. Saturday I woke up and cleaned my room took out the trash, wrote two book reports, a human relations report, a year long plan and began working on my unit plan. I can tell its the close of the semester! (5 class days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Then went to call, and then had the concert. Came back and slept. Sunday I had to get my ass out of bed rather early and get ready for the concert had another concert at 3, then also at 7:30pm. Basically got nothing done yesterday. I did on the other hand put myself in a VERY awkward position. My ex-boyfriend (whom while in Oregon I dumped... we started dating here on campus... etc)came to the concert last night. His mother and father sat there and spoke to me about my life etc. Then Jon just ran away basically and hid behind his father. (he's a puss). But yea, I attempted to find the guts to talk to him, but I couldn't. I just wanted to at times give him a hug and be as if NOTHING ever happened. But on the other hand I also wanted to rip his eyes out. You know it happens. I cannot wait for break to come.
My count downs:
5 days of classes
17 days until Mindy comes home!
30 days until I get to go to SEATTLE!!!!

I'm excited. I'm happy, we'll see how the rest of the day goes.